Slytherin Pygmalion
by Swallow B
Summary: "Longbo'em's cowdjen's on faa". Another reason why Neville Longbottom gets on Professor Snape's nerves.


Slytherin Pygmalion

Disclaimer :The characters and basic plot belong to JK Rowling.

Author's Note : No offence meant. I love Manchester English (and anyone who has heard my own accent is welcome to make fun of it).

ooo

"It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman despise him." (Preface to Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion)

ooo

"Longbo'em's cowdjen's on faa !" chanted Draco Malfoy in a voice loud enough to be heard by everyone, but thankfully low enough to be ignored.

"Extinguo. Twenty points from Gryffindor."

Even Theo Nott was smirking in his cauldron. Amazing how fast Draco had picked up Longbottom's accent.

Inhale. Exhale. Empty your mind.

It wouldn't do to have flashbacks.

ooo

'Now, Severus..."

A comfortable, somewhat throne-like chair appeared out of nowhere in the shade of the beech tree. Lucius Malfoy sat on it and looked at Severus while negligently holding his wand like a sceptre.

"You are a talented young man, very talented for a first-year... and a Half-Blood."

That was a compliment and Severus took it as such. Being not only noticed, but complimented by Lucius Malfoy was considerable honour for a first-year... and a Half-Blood.

"Even old Sluggy has noticed you have a future. It would be a pity to waste it."

Severus looked up eagerly. He wouldn't be a Slytherin if he let his future go to waste.

"You are like... a diamond in the rough... You need... polishing."

Severus held his breath, while Lucius examined him, tilting his patrician head to a side.

"New robes, of course", he tut-tutted, while Severus cringed. He was a first-year, a Half-Blood and also poor.

"That can be arranged. There are spells, you know. I can teach you."

Severus's eyes flashed gratefully. Lucius gave him a regal half-smile.

"And the company you keep..."

Severus cringed again.

"A Gryffindor Mudblood. No, no, that won't do. What is wrong with Slytherin students ?"

"Nothing," breathed Severus, meaning it with his whole heart.

"When you are older... I'll show you what these girls are good for."

Lucius gave a regal smirk. Severus shuddered.

"You are still very young. You need guidance. And I..." He let the pronoun ring and echo superbly around the lake. "I ... shall teach you English as it is spoken in the right circles... It is your key to all important doors," he added in a confidential tone. " Sluggy might invite you to his evenings."

It was in good taste in the Slytherin common room to make fun of Slughorn's evenings, but it was in even better taste if you were invited. Severus nodded.

"Good. What is your name ?"

"Sev'ros Snayepe."

Lucius sighed as if in deep pain.

"Say that slowly."

"Seeev'ros Snaaayepe."

"Snape, not Snayepe and drop your voice at the end."

"Me voice ?"

It took Severus fifteen minutes to learn to pronounce his name in a way that would not offend Malfoy ears.

Open your mouth. Speak in the front of your mouth. Speak slowly, smoothly. Bring your voice down at the end of the phrase. Who would have ever guessed Lucius Malfoy could be so patient ? He was dedicated. But so was Severus. At the end of the month, Severus's voice had softened. At the end of the year, he had lost even the slight lilt that made Lily's voice full of charm and life.

Severus 's voice was smooth and soft. Friends and foes described it as silky. As he left boyhood, it deepened, becoming Severus's only sensuous feature. It seeped into ears and brains like water. Students, and indeed most people, automatically fell silent to listen to him.

All this was Lucius Malfoy's doing. Lucius was proud of his work and Severus was for ever grateful.

ooo

No, no flashbacks.

"Kin ye ge' me a coopla draad ne'les froom the cobberd ?"

"Five points from Gryffindor for wasting ingredients."

The dungeon classroom echoed with Slytherin sniggering and Gryffindor groans.

And they had better not complain to Professor McGonagall. Severus can imitate accents too, Minerrrrva.


End file.
